The end of the year always lends itself to looking back to see how the last 365 days treated you. I usually take the time to review my goals, celebrate successes and critique what needs improvement.Read More
Weddings make up 90 percent of my video editing work. It seems like there isn't a week out of the year where I'm not receiving wedding footage to cut together. So I've become accustomed to the rhythm and traditions of many weddings.
And let me tell you something: Weddings are weird.Read More
This post is my therapy. Hopefully it provides insight and encouragement to those experiencing similarly. I’ve learned to love process, and this is a glimpse into the grieving process, to my grieving process
If you’re friends with me and my wife, it is no secret that we have suffered more than a few miscarriages. A few weeks ago we had another.
This one felt very different though. This one came after developing a plan with the fertility doctor and my wife taking treatments to try and make the pregnancy a healthy one. This after seeing previous doctors about our infertility struggles. This felt like it was final. We can’t have children.
What sort of thoughts swirl through your mind when faced with this reality? What challenges do your core beliefs experience? What plans come crashing down?
Guys, the weeks after our latest miscarriage has been devastating. My wife and I experienced new lows along the way, and have been fighting against depression and anxiety. It's been a battle.
I’m more fatigued these days. I sleep more. I’ve lost interest in many things that brought me joy. I’ve lost motivation to be better, to strive for more, to challenge myself, to achieve goals, because what’s the point?
What’s the point?
And a terrible thing stirring about is the residual guilt that comes from the lack of productivity. No videos, no writing, no creativity. It’s like referred pain in your neck that’s coming from tense muscles in your back. It feels like you can’t do anything about it, even though you know what the problem is. I wish i could just skip ahead a year. Many who feel the same also desire this.
About a month has gone by, and a few counseling sessions later i’m crawling out of the bottom and finding myself on the upswing. I feel less dread. I’m working better. I have God to thank, and my wife to lean on. It hasn’t been lost on my thoughts, but i’m already starting to learn to live with the reality.
Which is what I've learned about experiencing loss. It doesn't hurt any less. You just learn to live with it. There's a new normal now. This normal is a life with 5 kids I'll never know. I'm accepting it more and more with each day. It still makes me sad, but it doesn't mean I can't enjoy what I once did.
The grieving period is a time where its okay to not be 100% operative. It’s okay to be scraping by. It’s okay to be sad, confused, angry. It’s okay to change your routine. It’s okay to get away for a bit. This is normal. People experience it and have experienced it for centuries.
These days I'm doing more of the activities that brought me joy. I'm making videos again. I'm writing. I'm coming up with ideas and learning about real estate. Bit by bit I'm crawling back, ready to get back to it with scars that remind me of where I've been.
There's no shortcut. You have to waddle in it for a while. Cut yourself some slack and live in that moment. There's no way around it, only through it.
My wife and I have been discussing our plans for the next year and have suggested some pretty stark changes to our everyday lifestyle. In short, we've been talking a lot about working remotely and traveling... full time.Read More
Any action you take on your goals will immediately propel your chances of success skyward. Inaction ensures mediocrity.
All eggs in many baskets. This includes your proficiencies and skills. What are you good at that could serve your income?
A coworker said this to me one day and it has changed my life. How often do we avoid trying something new? How often do we skip the learning?
Don't confuse what you want with what you need and vice versa.
Failure is an opportunity to learn.Read More
One of my Youtube role models, Casey Neistat, posted an inspiring video today. Do whatever you can't. When people tell you can't do something, you know what? Go out and do it. Don't let others dictate your potential. The tools are out there, lets make our move.Read More
Things they are a changin'Read More
Something happened to me in November of 2015. I grew unsatisfied.
Unsatisfied with the way my life was progressing. My career wasn't advancing. Our debt was increasing. My energy was draining. I felt stuck.
I got angry.
I had to change. I couldn't allow myself to continue to aspire to a position I didn't really want simply to make more money to pay off debt that accrued from buying stuff I thought would make me happy and distract me from the job I didn't really like. *inhale* A vicious cycle indeed.
The turning point: Learning a few hard lessons. The first of which is a cliche: Work smarter, not harder.
It seems simple and sounds lazy. Aren't we all taught to work as hard as we can? To do our very best? To persevere? That we will be rewarded with hard work? Well, I can tell you that after being in that vicious cycle for three plus years, that notion is complete baloney.
No one cares about how hard you work. People care if you bring them value. Sure, maybe your boss notices at first. They'll notice your insistence and work ethic. But diligence alone is not a guarantee for success. Hard work can get you a job, it does not make you money.
So after I got angry, and after I read some interviews and articles about work and success this truth made a lot of sense to me. I was busting my ass at a job that I didn't hate, for a position I didn't want. I should have been working smarter. I should have been thinking about what I really wanted. I should have thought about how to create a lifestyle business around my desires and gifts. I should have thought of how to increase the return on my time and energy. I should have been taken on risk. I should have developed value. So many (too many) should-haves.
So Lesson one: Work smarter, not harder.
Lesson two? Sometimes you need to get angry.
Oh the glorious bean.
It is startling how much depends on this little thing. Companies, industries would crumble. Relationships are forged by its extracts. Many of us rely solely on the power it bestows.
How amazing is this beverage? How incredible is its gifts? I am lavished by its grace and humbled by its might. This drink brings me great joy.
Here's to you coffee. I am convinced you make the world go 'round.